My Mother’s Day Present to Myself

When I was growing up, I was never the girl who couldn’t wait to get married and have children. I never gave a lot of thought to the future. I wasn’t a deep thinker or planner. I was more a ‘fly by the seat of my pants’ girl. This isn’t the best way to approach life.

What if my true destiny was to be an Irish Riverdancer but I never thought about it? That DNA cheek swab did show ties to Ireland.

Fortunately a really nice guy set me on my path to motherhood and my life turned out well.

I know now that I was always meant to be a mom because it’s the thing I’ve done in life of which I’m most proud. When I look back over my life and get bogged down with regrets, and yes I have a few, I can pull myself back to center by focusing on the fact that I’m a mother and I loved this job from day one.

I thank my lucky stars everyday because my journey’s been easy. My family had a few problems and arguments over the years but we’ve gotten through life without any permanent scars. I know many incredible mothers who can’t say the same. Life’s funny that way.

I’m blessed with three children and a daughter-in-law, all extraordinary beings. How is it that they’re so much smarter than I was in my twenties? They’re the deep thinkers and planners who I regret not being at that age. My children are creative and independent. I believe they’re all searching for ways to be happy throughout their lives. Also, they’re caring to others. What more could a mother want?

If I had it my way, I’d buy a big compound with four houses and we’d all live there. In the evening, we’d cook together and share stories of our day. Since my closest child is a thousand miles from me, this probably won’t happen.

Maybe I should think more about why we live so far apart.

Is this the secret to a happy family?

I really don’t think so. I enjoy every minute I spend with them and I hope they feel the same.

My children are not stifled by conformity. I fell into that abyss and it took years to dig myself out. I wasn’t always as kind to other people or to myself as I should have been. I hope my children always think for themselves but, also, I hope they know I’m always here if they need the opinion of a somewhat biased mother.

If you haven’t figured it out, my Mother’s Day gift to myself is time to reflect on motherhood. What I discovered is, regrets and all, I consider myself to be tremendously blessed. Today I approach life with the goal of living  in the moment but learning from my past. This knowledge was acquired from being a mom.

Maybe I wasn’t meant to Irish step dance my way through life or to write the world’s greatest novel. Who knows?

I do know I was meant to mother my three children.

Each one was put in my life to teach me to be patient, to laugh at myself and to love unconditionally.

Thanks, my babies, you did a good job raising your mom.

They must love me if each Christmas they humor me with a matching pajama photo!